Your grandparents carry a whole world inside them — one that existed before you were born and will leave with them unless someone thinks to ask. They remember a different century: the smells of a childhood kitchen, a war heard on the wireless, the family names now written only on the backs of photographs. Ask them, and you inherit all of it.
Here are 100 questions to ask your grandparents about their life, grouped by theme so you can start wherever feels natural. You won't get to all of them, and you don't need to. Ask a few, listen properly, and follow wherever they light up — the best stories are almost always in the tangents.
One small thing that changes everything: record it. Their words matter, but the sound of their voice telling it — the accent, the laugh, the pause before the part they've never told anyone — is the thing you'll be most grateful for later. A phone's voice recorder is all you need.
The world you grew up in
- What year were you born, and what was happening in the world then?
- What did your neighbourhood look, sound, and smell like?
- How did your family get news — radio, newspaper, word of mouth?
- What did a typical day look like when you were my age?
- What did things cost? What did a loaf of bread, or your first wage, come to?
- What chores were expected of children back then?
- What did you do for fun before television and phones?
- What was the technology that amazed you when it first arrived?
- How has the world changed most in your lifetime?
- What do you miss about the way things used to be?
Our family's roots
- Where did our family come from originally?
- What were your parents like — their work, their character, their sayings?
- What do you remember about your grandparents?
- Are there ancestors whose stories were passed down to you?
- How did our family come to live where we did?
- Is there a family name, tradition, or heirloom with a story behind it?
- What languages were spoken in your childhood home?
- Were there family recipes or dishes that meant something?
- What do you wish you'd asked your own parents or grandparents?
- What should our family never forget about where we come from?
When you were young
- What is your earliest memory?
- What were you like as a child — bold, shy, mischievous?
- Who were your closest friends, and what did you get up to together?
- What was school like, and did you enjoy it?
- Did you have a nickname? Where did it come from?
- What did you dream of becoming?
- What games did you play, and what were your treasured possessions?
- Who did you look up to as a child?
- What's a scrape or adventure you got into that you still laugh about?
- What was your family like at the dinner table?
Love, marriage, and family
- How did you meet Grandma / Grandpa?
- What did you think of them at first?
- What was courting like in your day?
- What do you remember about your wedding?
- What's the secret to a marriage that lasts?
- What was it like becoming a parent for the first time?
- What kind of parent did you try to be?
- What was the hardest part of raising a family?
- What are you proudest of when it comes to your children?
- What do you remember about the day my parent was born?
Work and the way things were
- What was your first job, and how did you get it?
- What work did you do over the years?
- Who taught you the value of hard work?
- What are you proudest of in your working life?
- Was there a dream job you never got to do?
- How did people manage money when times were tight?
- What did you do to relax after a long week?
- How is work different now from how it was then?
- What's a skill you had that's rare or lost today?
- When did you know it was time to retire, and how did that feel?
The history you lived through
- What's the biggest historical event you witnessed?
- Where were you when it happened, and what do you remember?
- Did war touch your family? What do you remember of it?
- How did the big changes of your era affect ordinary life?
- Was there a moment the whole community came together?
- What's something from your time that young people today wouldn't believe?
- Who were the leaders or public figures you admired — or didn't?
- What do you think future generations should understand about your era?
- Is there a headline from your youth you'll never forget?
- What gives you hope about the way the world is going — or worries you?
What you believe and what you've learned
- What do you believe about faith, or the meaning of life?
- Have your beliefs changed as you've grown older?
- What does a life well lived look like to you?
- What's the best advice you were ever given?
- What advice would you give me for my life?
- What do you know now that you wish you'd known at twenty?
- What's a mistake you made that taught you the most?
- What matters far more than you once thought — and far less?
- Who or what shaped the person you became?
- What are you still curious about, even now?
Being a grandparent
- What did you feel when you first became a grandparent?
- What do you remember about meeting me for the first time?
- How is being a grandparent different from being a parent?
- What do you most enjoy about our family now?
- What do you hope I remember about you?
- Is there something you've always wanted to tell me but never found the moment?
- What traditions do you hope we keep going after you?
- What do you worry about for my generation?
- What makes you proud when you look at our family?
- What would you want said about you one day?
Things I've always wondered
- What's something about you that would surprise me?
- What was the happiest day of your life?
- What's the most beautiful place you've ever been?
- Is there a decision you'd make differently if you could?
- What are you most grateful for?
- What's a small, everyday pleasure you'd never give up?
- What music, film, or book has meant the most to you?
- Is there anyone you'd like to forgive, or thank?
- If you could relive one day exactly as it was, which would it be?
- If you could leave us with a single piece of wisdom, what would it be?
Before you start
A list is the easy part; a good conversation is the real gift. A few things that help:
- Ask one question, then get out of the way. The follow-up — "and then what happened?" — is where the real stories live.
- Go where they light up. If a question opens something, stay there. You can always come back to the list.
- Little and often. Fifteen minutes over a cup of tea, a few times, gathers far more than one long sitting that never gets scheduled.
- Keep their voice. Press record. A transcript keeps the facts; the recording keeps them.
If you'd like more prompts, we've also put together 101 questions to ask your parents, and a gentle guide on how to record a life story without it feeling like a chore. Whatever you do, do it soon. Your grandparents won't always be a phone call away — but their stories can be, forever.